Basic fire and ambulance training for all the residents of Coronation St really might be a good idea, says our Corriespondent

Tracy sneaks into Carla's flat...

As ever in a Corrie disaster episode, the emergency services are stuck on that flamin’ ring road, meaning that it was left to the residents of the street to stage the rescue of Carla and then Amy (brilliant child acting skills from Elle Mulvaney, incidentally) from Victoria Court. And when I say the residents of the street, I do mean pretty much all of them. It was like Carla had just shouted ‘Free Merlot for all!’ from her balcony or something, the speed of the stampede up there. At one point I think there were 15 people on the stairs heading up to Carla’s flat which must have really done the actual residents’ heads in, since they were coming the other way trying to avoid death and all.

In the end though, the people who went to rescue Amy were Leanne and the Obligatory Corrie Disaster Episode Sacrificial Lamb; the one we all know is leaving the show, won’t miss much anyway but who had just proposed to a character who we do love, in order to actually elicit some emotion out of us when he dies. Sorry Kal, I think you’ve done your last finger point.

With Tracy having snook from the flat, will anyone find Carla before it’s too late? When flames suddenly start licking through the building, it looks like there could be more than one person in jeopardy — Everyone watches on as the flats go up in flames

See also Maddie: suddenly in love with the idea of riding elephants in India and a future of living together with Sophie and - oh look! - also about to be on the receiving end of some Jenny Bradley-in-a-wig based rage. Great episode Corrie but just a note: maybe get EastEnders’ tips on making big reveals less predictable. On to Wednesday’s lessons…

Carla must wake up every morning thinking ‘What now?’

A fire? A murdering brother? A cheating husband? A car crash? A death of a loved one? No wonder she sleeps on that sofa fully dressed most nights, she needs to be poised for action.

Putting Liz McDonald in a velour tracksuit and making her angry is TV gold

One of my favourite lines being “I don’t want a brandy. I want to break things.” Totally aside from the whole fire thing, this is a cracker of a Liz McDonald week. Ooh! Also: “I just wish this was his face. His big, fat ugly face.”

If nothing else, I love that this fire provided opportunity for some bonus Roy and Carla

So underplayed and one of the best relationships on Corrie at the moment. Beautifully done.

Whoever writes the scripts really has it in for Les Dennis

“Is that an alarm?” he said, doing his special ‘shocked face’ at… the sound of an alarm. Poetry.

Kal leads Leanne out to the Rovers back yard and goes down on one knee but he’s annoyed to discover that he’s forgotten the ring and telling here not to move, sets off to find it. Leanne’s stunned — Kal forgets the most important ingredient for a romantic proposal - the ring

Whoever writes the scripts really has it in for Kal

“This is turning out to be the most disastrous proposal ever!” he quipped to Leanne, turning what was strong, serious drama from Roy and Carla into something out of a bad sitcom.

My campaign to #saveAndrea starts here

“When you go in there, stay low,” she told Sean about Liz’s lounge. “She nearly caught me with a flying mug.” Oddly enough, I love Andrea much more since Lloyd went on that ship to Norway so I’m refuting all arguments that she couldn’t have survived Craig Charles’ exit anyway.
Come back on Friday - no column tomorrow - for more Corrie lessons and tweet me @cgcorcoran.