Coronation Street catch-up: Evil Todd strikes again leaving Eileen crying into her laptop

It was the one when Todd was like Superman, says our Corriespondent. If Superman smirked and drank apple martinis

Eileen squirms as Todd gleefully urges Adrian to give her the surprise

Oh Eileen. Sobbing at her laptop with a brandy by her side, because - and this was dubious storylining if ever I’ve seen it - Todd has decided to become evil again, chucking away his home, his job, his life and his family for a few moments of smugness at his mum and brother’s expense in the Bistro. As Eileen tried to figure out why she was on a date with the wrong internet fella, Todd whipped off his jacket like he was Superman to reveal Jefffromdubai’s clothes, before taking a slurp of Jefffromdubai’s drink and smirking at a baffled Eileen and a clearly very confused Adrian. Don’t worry Adrian, this kind of thing happens round here - did anybody tell you about Fake Gavin? Because that is a cracking story.
On to Friday’s Corrie lessons…

Les Dennis is clearly not familiar with the heartbreak diet

“How did you lose the weight Sean?” he asked, when wearing Sean’s old ‘fat clothes’ because apparently sending someone across the road for a few jumpers is too much. You could just stroll in Les! Callum does it all the time.
“The gay way,” said Sean. “Caesar salads, spin class, stress.”

Sometimes large vodka tonics aren’t appropriate

“Shall we have a drink?” said Julie. “Raise a glass to Kal?”
“Julie Kal didn’t drink,” said Todd.
Ah. Perhaps everyone could do a commemorative stint on the cross trainer instead?

I’m not sure Mary understands cremation

“I couldn’t do it,” she said. “I’m not very good with high temperatures.”

Andrea is a woman who zooms in on people’s important qualities after their deaths

“And he was fit too,” she sighed.

To be fair to Todd, Jason hasn’t really seemed to miss Eva anyway

Since we saw him have his Official Sad Break-Up Night down the pub, has Jason seemed anything other than his smiley self? Given that he now reckons she was the love of his life and she did break up with him then move abroad a day later?

In soap, if you think your partner is going to propose, they are probably about to dump you

Sorry Julie, that’s just how it is.

Soap characters are very optimistic

“I was going to spend the rest of my life with him,” sobbed Leanne. Erm, probably not Leanne. At best you had six months before you cheated on him with Nick and Kal moved to Portsmouth.

It’s a good job JefffromDubai isn’t real

All that way and he was expected to come to Weatherfield for a night at the Bistro? The least you could have done was meet him in town, Eileen, come on.

Perhaps instead of an early night Jase, you might think about calling Eva

No? Not dawned on you? Tsk, Todd had a point.
Come back on Monday for more Corrie lessons and tweet me @cgcorcoran